The Awful German Language

"Also!" If I had not shown that the German is a difficult language, I have at least intended to do so. I have heard of an American student who was asked how he was getting along with his German, and who answered promptly: "I am not getting along at all. I have worked at it hard for three level months, and all I have got to show for it is one solitary German phrase -- `Zwei Glas'" (two glasses of beer). He paused for a moment, reflectively; then added with feeling: "But I've got that solid!"

And if I have not also shown that German is a harassing and infuriating study, my execution has been at fault, and not my intent. I heard lately of a worn and sorely tried American student who used to fly to a certain German word for relief when he could bear up under his aggravations no longer -- the only word whose sound was sweet and precious to his ear and healing to his lacerated spirit. This was the word Damit. It was only the sound that helped him, not the meaning; and so, at last, when he learned that the emphasis was not on the first syllable, his only stay and support was gone, and he faded away and died.

3. It merely means, in its general sense, "herewith."


- From Mark Twain's The Awful German Language
The Awful German Language

The Germans are entirely aware of this fine piece of writing by Twain and I've seen quotes of his used in advertising here. Over dinner last night, a friend and I bemoaned our poor German skills, despite having spent 1/3 of our young lives trying to learn it. There are dogs here that understand more German than I do. The Germans don't mess around with their dogs - those are some well-trained animals! In fact, at the restaurant we were at, there was one sitting at the dinner table in its own chair. I'm sure it probably has better table manners than I do, too.